“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I have six kids. Even before CFS, my home was barely tidy on the best of days. The day I conceived my first child I knowingly and lovingly sacrificed shiny surfaces and clear pathways and anything white. I am OK with that.

However, I must admit things have gotten out of hand since CFS. I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of teaching my children work and responsibility. But once I got sick and could no longer nag them to do their work, it all went downhill rather quickly. Instead of doing a job right, they were doing it just good enough -- and that bar kept getting lower and lower.

I finally recognized that we needed help. I took my friends up on their offer to clean my home. They were wonderful and spent a week digging us out. I could breathe again! The kids could have friends come over! We were not too embarrassed to open the door when the doorbell rang! But old habits returned quickly, and messy was creeping up on us again.

I am now having a woman come twice a month to clean. Yesterday was her first day. I did not spend the entire morning frantically cleaning before she got here -- you all know how that would have turned out. Well, she wasn't happy that she had to clean around the clutter! She made it very clear she disapproved of how messy my home was. I explained I was sick, but she obviously didn't get it. She wanted to know why my kids weren't helping out more. She gave me instructions on how she wanted it picked up better when she comes next time. And, she said she needed to get started earlier in the morning than I had her scheduled.

I'm just wondering what ever happened to discretion and respect in the employer-employee relationship. I am paying her to clean my house. That implies that yes, it is dirty. Why the disdain? If I were the kind of housekeeper she thinks I should be, she wouldn't have a job! Does she really want to encourage me to get on top of things? Would the satisfaction of knowing she shamed someone into keeping a clean house compensate for the lack of income?

By the way, she was fantastic and worth twice what I paid for her services! I will happily endure her huffs of indignation when she comes back in a couple of weeks.


Sue Jackson said...

I'm glad to hear you hired a cleaning service, Shelli. Since CFS, we now consider that a necessity. In fact, we were just picking up our own clutter tonight in preparation for our cleaning service tomorrow morning. Because of some scheduling problems, it's been 3 weeks since they came (it's usually only 2) - the house is filthy!

But, you know, it is possible to find some cleaning help who don't shame you! If I were you, I'd try someone else. It can take awhile to find a cleaning service that's the right fit for you, but it's worth the effort. You deserve better!


P.S. the web page looks great! Thanks for the links.

Dusty Bogwrangler said...

My lovely cleaning person used to do all the picking up and even fold my PJs!

But she is one in a million and I was extremely lucky to find her.

I hope it works out for you.

Renee said...

We also have a cleaning lady, but we pick up before she comes and with just the two of us and our united need for is very seldom messy except when all the kids and grandkids are here.
She cleans our home every two weeks and we consider it a necessity too!
If you like her, sure hope it works out...if not.....she IS under your respect least in my way of thinking!