“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo

One of the thoughts that keeps coming back to me is, "I've been going through this for two years now -- I should be better at this!" But I'm not. Well, maybe just a little better at this, but I still flounder. Every day, I have to choose what is most important to get done. Kids needs, family time, housework, help with the business, time for my marriage, time for me -- I get to choose one, and the rest is left waiting in line. I still haven't learned how to prioritize and plan. I wake up and see what is most clamoring for my attention. Yesterday, I got the kids registered for school. Today, there's a problem with licensing at the business. On the one hand, I'm proud that I got the major things done at the end of the day. It's a great big accomplishment, something that I can point to and say, "See! I did something! I did that!" On the other hand, swept in the corner, piling up, are all the little things I know I should do, but I never have the energy to get to. We're out of toilet paper. The laundry is piling up. Paperwork is all over the house. My kitchen floor needs mopping. There's no food in the fridge. The list grows and grows and mocks me and drains the satisfaction from my life.