“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Making Connections

Today I've had my own "Aha" moment.

I woke up feeling surprisingly well. I looked in the mirror, and I didn't see a zombie looking back at me. I was feeling restless during my first rest this morning. I felt ... better!

What made all the difference in the world? My oldest son (15 yo) had been on vacation with another family for 3 weeks, and he just got home yesterday.

Being a busy mom of five other kids, I didn't even notice how much I was worrying about him! He didn't have phone service or internet access most of the trip. He was able to text his sister a couple of times, and when he did, he sounded homesick. This was supposed to be a great adventure vacation -- crossing the US, visiting the Mall of America, Mount Rushmore, LDS church history sites, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone Park, and more. There was mountain biking and hiking and camping and river rafting. It was the chance of a lifetime! He had a great time, but missing us all put a damper on the trip. And the whole time, I worried.

So, he got home yesterday, while I was working at the store. He spent the entire afternoon with his father, getting our truck fixed. They had a fun time entertaining an 81 year old homeless man while they waited for the truck. Then, he took off with his sister and their best friend and did "stuff" for awhile. After work, my husband took me out to dinner, like he always does, and then my son joined us!

He was so cute! He ran through the restaurant, jumped up onto the bench in the booth, and gave me a huge hug! He kept us laughing as he shared all his stories from the last few weeks. It was a wonderful dinner, and I was so happy to have him home. He took off with his friends after dinner, but came into our room before bed and chatted some more until after midnight.

His favorite sarcastic remark before his vacation was "I hate this family!" He has sworn to NEVER say it again, lol!

My next big stress is sending my oldest daughter off to college on Sunday. I hope I'm not a wreck like I was with my son. I don't think I will be. She is ready, I know. She is such a smart girl, and she has a super fun personality. She is absolutely darling, so I'm sure there will be plenty of boys to show her some interest. I know she'll excel in her classes, because she has the skills to do so. I feel like this is going to be such an amazing growing experience for her.

I've spent so many years making room in our family and in my heart for each new baby. I wonder what I'll do now that I'm beginning to send them off? I wonder how our family will deal with shrinking, not expanding. Anyone have any good stress remedies?


Dusty Bogwrangler said...

It's so hard when they leave. My only daughter's leaving home was one of the events that triggered the worst onset of my CFS. You feel like you are abandoning them and then you feel like they are abandoning you. And then what happens to your identity as a mother? Nobody needs me any more?

Good old Kalil Gibran said something about children being the arrows we shoot from our bow. All we can do is point them in the right direction and hope for the best.

Stress reduction? Asking the wrong woman here I'm afraid.

I have been to the Mall of America though. Guaranteed to give anyone CFS.

Lauren said...

Have you seen this website Shelli

I found it very helpful with anxiety & other issues.
Glad you had a great day!
Love Lauren

Sue Jackson said...

My oldest son is also 15, and I worried like crazy when he was gone on a band trip for just 4 days! 3 weeks is a long time...and it's so sweet that he missed you all so much! Sounds like you have a wonderful family. The daughter of some close friends (like family to us) just left for college last week - the first one in our circle - and we still can't believe it! The time just goes by so fast, doesn't it? All the more reason to cherish every moment and enjoy the small stuff every day.