“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Price of Overconfidence

I was thinking about the phrase "bill of health" and it made me think of the tab I ran up yesterday.

1. I worked at the store all day yesterday. I only had two customers, so it was pretty quiet. I realized by the end of the day, I still felt pretty good! I was feeling pretty confident. (cha-ching)

2. I then went to my book club. I love my book club! The books we read are so interesting, and even if I didn't like the book that month, the discussions are always so fantastic. Unfortunately, we had a small group, so the discussion was a little tepid this time. It wasn't as fun as usual, but we got out of there a little early. I was still feeling pretty confident. (cha-ching)

3. I came home and unwinded by curling up on the couch and watching "Survivor." It's pretty mindless entertainment. I was thinking I should probably get to bed when it was over, but I convinced myself to stay up for "The Office" next. Then, I stayed up for "30 Rock," even though I don't really even like that show very much. A little voice started a warning. Regret was waiting on the sidelines, tsk tsking. (cha-ching)

4. I thought I'd put my post-exertional malaise theory to the test. I was still awake when my daughter came home late from work, so I chatted with her about how her day went. I ended up getting to bed about two hours past my usual time. (cha-ching)

And ... boy am I paying for it today! I was lying in bed dreaming this morning that it was getting later and later and I needed to get up, but fatigue weighed so heavily upon me that it was like I was in a coma and could not even force my eyes open to check the clock. I was finally awakened by the telephone ringing at 10 am. On my good days, I'm up at 7 or 8 am after nine to 10 hours of sleep. I languish in bed for a little while, but I don't feel sleepy. I panic if I'm not up by 9 am; that usually means difficulty getting to sleep that night. This time, it had been over 11 hours, and I still felt groggy. I was achy all over, I was dying of thirst, and there was just a hint of a sore throat. I wasn't even up to my morning yoga, and I didn't make it into the shower until noon.

Thank goodness it's Friday! At least I can get all the rest I need to bounce back tomorrow without having the alarm going off for school. I hope I'm feeling better, because Vons is having a really good sale tomorrow, and I would like to be able to feed my family.


Renee said...

I find myself doing this too even after years of taking classes and trying to manage my energy and activity levels. I frustrate myself so much!
Yesterday I did too much. For me that means I not only got my own lunch, took the dog out once, and did clean up in the kitchen, but spent too much time on the computer, fixed supper, AND spent 75 minutes on the phoen with my daughter for her birthday. Today I am weak, shakey, have that horrible gravity feeling and am ready to climb back into bed now.
No matter where we fall on the scale of energy, we need to save some OR end up like we both feel...crappy! I wonder if I can learn this in my 61st year of life....hmmmmmm

Shelli said...

Renee -- I know! What floors me is how unimpressive my list looks. That made me so tired?

Maybe I'll learn this in my 61st year of life, too! ;)